kindling Dating Coach expert advice

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Are you tired of endless swiping and lacklustre online dating experiences? Kindling offers a new perspective on finding love in the digital world.

From being clear on your intentions, to creating a genuine profile, and approaching dates with compassion and openness, Kindling provides practical tips for a more fulfilling and successful online dating journey.

Say goodbye to mindless swiping and hello to kinder; a more intentional approach to finding love! 

To attract a long-lasting relationship it's essential to start by being clear on your relationship goals and desires. Are you searching for a long-term commitment? If so, don't be afraid to express your intentions openly. By being honest with yourself, you can ensure that your dating experiences align with your ultimate objectives.

However, the journey towards finding love can often be filled with ups and downs. At times, motivation may wane and frustration may set in. During these moments, it's important to remind yourself of your end goal and the feelings that you want to experience of being in a healthy loving relationship. 

Keeping a positive and determined mindset will ensure that you stay the course and reach your desired outcome.

Whilst we may think it is up to the stars to align to find love, we actually have more power over achieving our goals than we think. Finding love takes effort, patience, and a clear understanding of what you're searching for. 

By keeping the focus on you, staying true to your goals and being honest with yourself, you can get through the ups and downs, the good and bad dates and find the love you seek. 

Your profile is your first impression on potential matches, so why not be yourself? The right person will love you for who you are, no filters needed.

Make your profile stand out with high-quality photos that show your true appearance. Don't be shy, include a close-up shot of your face and full-body shots that showcase your personality and interests.

When writing about yourself, keep it real and avoid pretending to be someone you're not. Instead, share your unique qualities and values that you hope to find in a partner. This will attract like-minded individuals who are interested in getting to know the real you.

Forget about listing what you don't want in a partner or bragging about your achievements. Instead, talk about your passions, hobbies, and values that you hope to share with someone special. 

It may come as a surprise to you but you don’t want to appeal to everyone. In pursuit of mass appeal, you may find yourself losing touch with your authentic self and becoming a watered-down version of who you truly are. Instead, become so unapologetically true to yourself that you don’t mind repelling those who aren't a good match for you. 

By doing so, you'll save yourself valuable time and energy, and magnetically attract the people with whom you'll truly click.

So, let's be honest and genuine in creating your online dating profile. Show your true self, highlight your values and interests, and have a little fun. By doing so, you will no doubt increase your chances of creating a meaningful connection and finding the love you want. 

Dating can feel like an emotional rollercoaster when you’re thinking 10 steps ahead and putting all that unnecessary pressure on yourself (as well as the other person)! But don't worry, we've got a hack to make the journey smoother - shift your focus from finding "the one" to finding someone you'd like to grab a drink with. 

No need to stress about Mr or Mrs Right right off the bat. Let's just focus on finding someone to enjoy sipping your favourite drink with… and let go of needing the outcome. 

Think about it, if both of you are focusing on having a good experience and enjoying each other’s company you will naturally want to do it again, right? The added pressure of you stressing about where things are going are literally going against the idea of having fun. 

To make things worse, when you are stressed, the other person will feel your tense emotions too and your chances of ever meeting them again diminish drastically! So relax, focus on the moment and let things take care of themselves.

Dating should be approached as a journey, not a destination. By taking things slow and focusing on finding someone you truly enjoy spending time with, the connection and chemistry will come naturally. 

No need to put pressure on finding "the one" right away, just savour the journey and see where it takes you. So take a deep breath and relax. Let's lower the stakes, enjoy the journey instead of trying to get to the finish line! Once you let go and let the chips fall as they may, you’ll be surprised how things can unfold!

Online dating can be an enjoyable and rewarding experience, but it's important to set boundaries and use your time effectively by practising mindful swiping. Limiting your time on dating apps and sites to 30 minutes a day can help you stay focused and avoid mindless swiping. 

To make the most of this time, consider using the first photo as a guide when making swipe decisions.

It's common to look for reasons to dismiss a potential match, but instead of focusing on flaws, try to think about what's important to you. For example, if a nice smile is important to you, you can forgive a bad t-shirt if the person in the photo looks like they have a warm and friendly smile.

However, it's important to be mindful of the tendency to slip into a "no mode" where you automatically dismiss profiles without really considering them. To avoid this, set rules for yourself and only say no if the profile has one of the three things you definitely don't want. 

If the profile doesn't have any of these, you’ve got to give the person a chance.

Remember, 99% of people on a dating app or site are looking for a connection, just like you. Instead of imposing your preconceived notions on others, try to view each profile with an open mind and look for reasons why they deserve a chance. 

By approaching online dating with empathy and a positive attitude, you'll increase your chances of finding a meaningful relationship.

Ready to reach out to your potential match? Before you hit "send," take a quick scan of their profile to see what interests and hobbies you share. If you find something in common, use it as an opportunity to make a connection! Don't wait for them to message you first – be bold and take the initiative. 

For example, if you both love hiking, why not start the conversation by asking about their favourite trails? Or if you're both into cooking, ask them what dishes they love to whip up in the kitchen. Trust us, the confidence to make the first move will pay off in the long run!

Your aim should be to quickly transition from in app messaging to a real life interaction. Remember that messaging apps are simply a bridge between digital realm and reality so don’t hang onto them for too long!

The longer you delay, the more time you give for potential negativity to creep in. You may start to find reasons to dismiss the person, or build an unrealistic fantasy that reality cannot match. And as strangers, it may become increasingly difficult to find common ground to keep the conversation flowing.

So why wait? Be confident, be empathetic, and make the move. You never know, that first message may lead to something truly special.

So you got the first date! Congratulations.The game is on, stakes are high, are they going to  be “the one”? Are they gonna like you? What should you wear? If you feel those butterflies in your belly, you are not alone. That fizzy feeling can be fun, but hey let's not get ahead of ourselves

Going on a first date can often be a nerve-wracking experience, but it doesn't have to be. Instead of viewing it as a high-stakes audition for a long-term relationship, think of it as a low-pressure "Pre-Date". The goal is simply to answer the question of whether you would like to go for another drink or coffee with this person.

To remove the pressure, consider limiting the time of this first encounter to just an hour. For example, you could say, "I have dinner plans in your area, so I could meet you before for a quick drink." 

This approach makes the meeting feel more casual and less intimidating.

And even if you don't hit it off with your Pre-Date, think of the opportunity as a way to broaden your horizons. You may learn about a different profession, culture, or background, or even get a movie or book recommendation. Plus, you'll have the chance to try a new bar or restaurant, which is always a valuable way to spend time.

So instead of focusing on finding "the one", focus on embracing the adventure and making the most of each and every Pre-Date. You never know what you might discover!

Whenever you feel negativity and judgement start seeping in, remember that by adopting a more compassionate approach, you can create a more positive and fulfilling dating experience for both yourself and your potential partners.

When on a date, try to put yourself in the other person's shoes. Recognise that they may be feeling nervous, and that some of the things they say may be defence mechanisms developed from past experiences. Don't be too quick to judge, as there is often a positive intention behind every action and behaviour.

Instead, make an effort to look beyond the surface and find the good in each and every person you meet. Remember that everyone has a unique story and that it can take time to get to know someone and understand their perspective.

So why not give everyone a chance? If you can, give each person at least three dates. This will provide you with a better understanding of who they are and what they have to offer. 

By approaching dating with compassion and an open mind, you may just find the love and happiness you've been searching for.

At Kindling we focus on being kinder to ourselves and to others, but how do you go about doing it?

Start by quieting the negative voice inside your head and committing to daily habits that bring joy and positivity into your life. This could include reading daily affirmations aloud, setting new intentions, committing to joy, practising meditation, journaling and free writing, and doing things simply for the enjoyment of them.

Additionally, be mindful of how you engage with the world around you. The more love and kindness you bring into your interactions, the more you will inspire others to do the same. Focus on creating and spreading joy, and strive to be a positive influence in the lives of those around you. 

By doing so, you will attract even more love and positivity into your own life. So take a deep breath, quiet that inner voice, and commit to a daily practice of kindness and positivity. The rewards will be well worth it! Trust me love really is all around.